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(Opens up at Seaford High School)
Jack: How are you doing? It's my first day. What would you recommend?
Marge: Not this stuff. I don't know what half of it is.
Kim: All right, that was almost cool. I'm Kim.
Jack: I'm Jack. I'm new.
Kim: Yeah, I can tell. You still have that new-guy smell. Um, can I have my apple back?
Jack: Oh, sorry. Well, maybe I'll see you around, Kim.
Kim: Maybe you will.
Eddie: Hey, new kid.
Jerry: Uh, what are you doing, Eddie? We save that seat for cheerleaders, prom queens, and supermodels.
Jack: Well, I'm Jack. So, how do you guys all know each other?
Milton: We're friends. We do karate together after school.
Jerry: We don't just do karate, Milton, these fists are registered weapons. In fact, I've already gotten a few calls about joining the Navy Seals.
Eddie: Navy Seals? You're afraid of baby seals.
(Frank throws a meatball at Milton)
Milton: Gah!
Frank and the people at his table: (laughing)
Jerry: That's awesome. That kid from the Black Dragon Dojo just whaled you with-- (gets a meatball in his face) Not cool man, not cool.
Jack: Aren't you gonna do anything? Wait, I thought you guys knew karate.
Milton: (gets out of his seat) Yes we do. (sits back in his seat) But they know it better.
Jack: It's cool. I got this.
Milton: Why did we learn his name? Now I'm gonna miss him.
Jack: (walks to the Black Dragon table) Hey, I like your outfits. You guys, uh... cheerleaders?
Frank: No, well Brian used to be. So, you got a problem or something? (shouts while doing karate poses)
Jack: I didn't come over here to fight, man.
Frank: (shouts while doing more karate poses)
Jack: Okay, you probably shouldn't have done that.
(music plays while Jack and Frank are fighting)
I know you're with me, but hold it steady
We 'bout to lift it off the ground, now are you ready?
Wave 'em in the sky, and let 'em fly high
Put 'em in the sky, and let 'em fly high...
(music continues playing instrumental during the fight)
Jack: Get him!
(music becomes audible again)
Baby you and I, together we can really fly high
Come all hung up, get my feet off the ground, we movin' so high
The way you do the things you do, you make me go nuts
Cannot hide, I gotta admit, I got a little crush
So if you're sayin' that we can go, will you just show me the sign?
And go, we're gettin' ready, I just wanna wave 'em goodbye
Let's see your smokin' body, worry I won't hold ya...
(music becomes no longer audible)
Nunchuck Guy: Hah!
Jack: Enjoy your pudding.
(music becomes audible again)
High high, ay ay yo, high high
Catch up eventually, by now the jet is gone
It's so far away, you need to change time zones
This ninja kicks around me, man, how does he do it?
No, ask me as a prank, I'll tell you that's how I do it
All 'round around around the world, hey!
I know you're with me, but hold it steady
We 'bout to lift it off the ground, now are you ready?
High, high, high, high
(song ends)
Kids: What?
Milton: That was the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life, and I've been to the Ice Capades.
(music starts and fades to the theme song)
Don't (don't) you (you) get all tough with me
I'm sayin', won't (won't) you (you)come kick it with me
And we can have a ball and run up the wall (hey!)
That's just how we do(come on)
And no matter how much I chop and punch, it's not as cool as kickin' it with you
Here we go, let's start the party, chop it up like it's karate
Everybody, don't (don't) you (you) get all tough with me
I'm sayin', won't (won't) you (you) come kick it with me
And we can have a ball and run up the wall(hey!)
That's just how we do (This is how we do)
And no matter how much I chop and punch, it's not as cool as kickin' it with you!
(cut to Rudy's advertisement on the Bobby Wasabi dojo.)
Rudy: Hi, I'm sensei Rudy and I run the Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy. Fun day at the beach ruined by a gang of ninjas? (fights the ninjas) Wipe out! Come on down to the Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy today and I'll teach you how to throw a foot-fist fiesta! (Rudy turns off the television)
(cut to real life)
Rudy: Now, that's what you call marketing, fellas. What'd you think?
Government Guy #1: We think this is the worst dojo in the Bobby Wasabi chain.
Rudy: What?
Government Guy #1: None of your students are advancing. If you don't win two belts at the next tournament, we're closing you down.
Rudy: Closing me down?
(cut to the inside part of the dojo)
Eddie: (attempts to throw Marge) YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Marge: (throws Eddie) Oh! Whoo! I love doing that. Ha ha ha! Ha!
Jerry: Dude, Eddie just got dusted by Marge the lunch lady again.
Rudy: Guys, what are you doing? They said if we don't win two belts at our next tournament, they're shutting us down.
Jerry: Yo Rudy, you wanna win some belts? You should get that new kid Jack in here.
Eddie: He was awesome! At lunch, he took out four Black Dragons all by himself.
Rudy: I don't care about some slap fight at school. Martial Arts isn't about beating kids up in the lunch room. It's about getting better through hard work and discipline.
Jerry: (burps) What? You should be happy it came out the right end.
(cut to Jack on his skateboard when the sign clearly says "No Skateboarding")
Police: That new kid Jack is on his skateboard again. (rides his vehicle while some instrumental music plays) I'm in pursuit.
(cut to Rudy)
Rudy: Everyone focus.
(cut to Jack on his skateboard again)
Police: Jack! Come here! Jack!
Jack: Whoa! Watch out! (crashes a hole in the Bobby Wasabi dojo's wall)
Marge: That boy just came right out of the wall!
Jack: Okay, you guys have got to try that.
Police: Come here, you.
Jack: Gotta go. Sorry about the wall. (backflips to the police people)
Rudy: Who was that kid?
Milton, Eddie, and Jerry: Jack!
Rudy: Oh...
(cut to Jack after he gets caught with his skateboard)
Rudy: You're in big trouble, Jack. But, if you join my dojo and help me win two belts, I'll tear up this report and you won't have to go to Juvie.
Jack: Juvie?
Rudy: That's jail for kids, fella.
Jack: I would join your dojo, but I'm not a karate guy. I'm a skater.
Rudy: You took out four Black Dragons all by yourself and did a perfect flying side-kick through my wall.
Jack: Okay, the truth is my grandfather was a karate sensei. He even trained Bobby Wasabi for all of his movies.
Rudy: Your grandfather trained Bobby Wasabi, the founder of this dojo and star of such classic movies as "Samurai Beach Party", "Kung Fu Cop", and "Nana Was A Ninja"?
Jack: Yep.
Rudy: You know this dojo was built on the principles of the Wasabi Code.
(both clap)
Both: We swear by the light of the dragon's eye to be loyal and honest and never say die. Wasabi!
Rudy: So do we have a deal?
Jack: Deal.
(Makes a "Jack Jumping In The Air" transition and cut to Falafel Phil)
Kickin' It With You
Kim: Hey, Jack.
Everyone at the table: He-llo, Kim.
Kim: Um, can I talk to you for a minute?
(People at the table respond)
Jack: Guys, can you give me a sec? Vamoose. That means go.
Jerry: I know what "Vamoose" means. (speaks Spanish) (him and Eddie leave the place)
Kim: Looks like you know something about karate.
Jack: A little bit.
Kim: So what are you doing at Bobby Wasabi? You should be training at the best dojo in town.
Jack: Really? What do you know about karate?
(cut to the Black Dragons dojo)
Kim: Hi-yah!
Jack: I guess you do know a little something about karate.
Kim: This place made me a black belt. Everything at the Black Dragon is best of the best.
Ty: I heard if Bobby Wasabi doesn't win two belts at the tournament this week, their doors will finally close. I've got to get him to join us. (walks to Jack) Ah, Jack, I've heard so much about you. I want you to know that if you join this dojo, you will become like a cobra-- fast, dangerous, and quite comfortable sleeping in a basket.
Kim: What Sensei is trying to say is if you train here, we'll make you a champion.
Ty: Check out this bo staff. That is four ounces of perfectly-balanced graphite. It's the same one the astronauts use. You know, for when they need a bo staff in space. (sees Jack swinging the bo staff) Yes, very nice. Excellent. Whoa! You almost took my head off.
Kim: So, what do you say, Jack? Will you join the Black Dragons?
Jack: I'd like to, but I can't.
Kim: Jack, come on. Bobby Wasabi's a joke.
Jack: Come on, it's not a joke to me. I gave my word, it's the Wasabi Code.
Frank: (mocking) "THE WASABI CODE".
Ty: Zip it, Frank.
Jack: Well, here you go.
Ty: You keep it. Let it be a reminder that you're always welcome here.
Jack: Wow! Thanks! (continues using the bo staff)
Frank: But that was my bo staff. My mom gave it to me--
Ty: And I gave it to her. That's right. You heard me. I'm seeing her!
(cut to the Wasabi dojo)
Jack: Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.
Rudy: Sorry doesn't cut it, Jack. Wait, where did you get that astronaut bo staff?
Jack: It was a gift from the Black Dragons. See, we can all use it.
Rudy: Ah, no no. Students from this dojo are forbidden from even entering the Black Dragon.
Jack: What? You can't forbid me from doing anything.
Rudy: How could you betray me like this? If it wasn't for me, you would have been banned from this mall for two weeks.
Jack: Banned from the mall? Wait, you said I was going to Juvie.
Rudy: You know, I say a lot of things. I'm what they call "chatty".
Jack: You lied to me. You broke the Wasabi Code.
Rudy: What? (stammering) I didn't break the Wasabi--
Jack: Kim was right. This place is a joke. I'm out of here.
Rudy: Fine, go ahead. Who needs him?
Rest of the dojo members: We do.
Rudy: What have I done? Come back! Come back!
(fades out), (fades back in)
Rudy: Jack, you're back.
Jack: I'm just here to get my stuff. What's going on?
Jerry: We're closing. No Jack, no belts, no dojo.
Milton's Dad: Milton David Krupnick. So, this is your French horn lesson, huh?
Milton: Dad, I'm sorry. I was taking karate lessons because kids kept beating me up for taking French horn lessons.
Milton's Dad: Let's go, Milton. You're lucky you didn't hurt yourself.
Milton: It's closing anyway. This is the only place I felt I really belonged. I'll let my bully know I'm available.
Eddie: Now, my mom's gonna send me back to Mrs. King's dance academy. My body was not made to mambo!
Jerry: Guess I'm a lone wolf again. And that's how I like it. Don't think for a second I'm gonna miss any of you meatbags.
Milton: See you around, guys.
Jack: Milton, hang on. (pulls out a board) Why don't you show your dad how you can break a board?
Milton: Break a board? I can barely cut a well-cooked piece of fish.
Jack: Just believe in yourself and do it.
Milton: I can't. When I was born, my parents thought they had given birth to a baby bird. I mean that--
Jack: Do it, Krupnick!
Milton: (breaks the board) A-ah! Holy Christmas Nuts!
Milton's Dad: Milton?
Marge: That ain't no baby bird right there, huh-uh.
Rudy: That was unbelievable, Jack. These guys are your friends. They didn't break the Wasabi Code, I did.
Jack: I broke it too. You don't walk away from your friends when they need you.
Rudy: Wasabi?
Jack: Wasabi.
All: Whoo! Yeah!
Rudy: Hup!
(theme song plays)
Don't (don't) you (you) get all tough with me
I'm sayin', won't (won't) you (you)come kick it with me
And we can have a ball and run up the wall (hey!)
That's just how we do(come on)
And no matter how much I chop and punch, it's not as cool as kickin' it with you
All: Whoa!
Here we go, let's start the party chop it up like it's karate
Everybody, don't (don't) you (you) get all tough with me
I'm sayin', won't (won't) you (you) come kick it with me
(everybody cheering and shouting)
And we can have a ball and run up the wall (hey!)
That's just how we do(come on)
And no matter how much I chop and punch, it's not as cool as kickin' it with you
(everybody shouting)
All: Wasabi!
(cut to the tournament)
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Black Dragons.
(cheering and booing)
Announcer: And now, our visitors: the Wasabi Warriors.
(techno music playing)
(audience cheering)
Announcer: Let the competition begin!
Rudy: Okay, guys. Eddie's up first.
Jack: Aw, man. Hey.
Eddie: Jack, the guy I'm fighting is huge.
Jack: Oh, come on, he's not that big.
Both: Wow!
Jack: What do they feed you, brother?
Huge Guy: You're going down.
Eddie: I don't think I can do this. Even Marge the lunch lady throws me around.
Jack: Eddie, look, this is your day to change all of that. If losing to Marge gets you angry, then use it. Come on, man.
Audience: Come on, Eddy. You got this one. Come on, Eddy. Come on, man.
Huge Guy: (laughing) (switches to Marge) (as Marge) You going down. Ha ha ha ha!
Eddie: Marge!
(audience cheering and shouting)
Rudy: We did it! We got our first belt!
Jack: Okay, nunchucks are up next. Jerry, all you gotta do is--
Jerry: Save it, Jack. I got this.
Audience: All right, all right, come on Jerry!
Nunchuck Guy: (swings the nunchucks) Ha! Ha! (audience cheering)
Jerry: Not bad. Check this out.
Eddie: Yeah!
Jerry: Whoo!
(audience cheering) (Jerry gets hurt)
Jack: Hey, man. Are you okay?
Jerry: Everything is purple.
Rudy: Okay, Milton, you're up next. If you can break more boards than your opponent, we win our second belt.
Milton: I'm ready, Rudy.
Jack: Would you please take off the oven mitts?
Milton: By oven mitts, do you mean weapon warmers?
Milton's Dad: I love you, Milton.
Milton: I love you too, dad.
Milton's Dad: Wasabi! Ya ya ya!
Frank: (breaks a board and roars), (audience cheering)
Milton: Double it.
Jack: Yes, my man's going for the win!
(audience cheering)
Marge: Milton!
Milton: (breaks a board) A-ah!
(audience cheering)
Marge: You go, baby bird!
Rudy: He's got the belt. We're saved! I get to keep the dojo!
(audience cheering)
Milton: Eat that, Black Dragons! You don't have Milton Krupnick to kick around anymore.
Frank: Ah! Stop!
Rudy: No, no! He's doing a nipple twister! That's illegal!
Frank: (screaming)
Rudy: Milton, you lost the belt. It was in your hands. You have any idea what that means?
Milton: It means I just had the best moment of my life.
Rudy: That's it. I have to move back in with my parents.
Eddie: Rudy, we've still got a chance. Jack's doing the vertical peg kick.
Kim: I was hoping we'd be on the same team, Jack. But now, I'm gonna have to take you down.
Jack: You know, I think you have a little crush on me.
Kim: Ew, no.
Jack: Yeah, I think you do.
Ty: He can't win that belt, Frank. You know what you have to do. (breaks his pencil)
Frank: (kicks Jack) Hi-cha!
Jack: Ah!
Marge: Oh no, he didn't!
Jack: Ow!
Ty: Frank, that is so wrong. You are banished from this dojo. Banished, I say!
(music plays)
Jack: Rudy, I can't get up.
Rudy: Yes, you can. You're the champ. You gotta get up. You gotta get up, champ!
Jack: Rudy, I can't get up because you're kneeling on my leg.
Rudy: Oh sorry. My bad.
(audience clapping)
Ty: Okay, scorpion, go kick out that peg so we can say goodbye to Bobby Wasabi forever.
Kim: I'm not gonna do it. I quit.
Ty: What?
Kim: You're nothing but a cheater and a big baby.
Ty: Nuh-uh. Take that back! Take that back! Oh, don't... don't... uh, really?
Kim: (walks over to Jack) So, are you gonna be able to do this?
Jack: I don't know.
Kim: Your whole dojo's counting on you.
Jack: If I do it, will you admit you have a crush on me?
Kim: I do not have a crush on you!
Bobby Wasabi dojo members: Mm-hmm.
Milton: I can't believe he's gonna launch off one foot. That's one bad mama-jama.
(music starts)
Eddie: He's not launching off his foot. He's launching off his hands.
Rudy: That's only been done once before by a man named Bobby Wasabi.
Bobby Wasabi dojo members: Whoa...
(flashback to earlier)
Eddie: Now, my mom's gonna send me back to Mrs. King's dance academy.
Jerry: Don't think for a second I'm gonna miss any of you meatbags.
Milton: This is the only place I felt I really belonged.
(flashback ends)
Jack: (kicks the pegs), (Milton's Dad gets knocked in the face with a peg), (audience cheers)
Rudy: We got our belts! We got our belts!
Ty: I hate Bobby Wasabi!
Rudy: Come on guys, we're going home.
Jerry: You know what I'm feeling.
Jack: I think we're all feeling it.
Members of the Bobby Wasabi dojo: (kicks) Whoo!
(cut to Rudy with a picture on his wall)
Rudy: Wasabi!
(music ends)
(cut to the Bobby Wasabi dojo)
Jack: Okay, guys. Come on, let's all get to work, all right? (recognizes Kim) Kim, what are you doing here?
Kim: I quit the Black Dragon. You guys were all right in the tournament. The way I see it, you need all the help you can get.
Jerry: Whoa whoa whoa. You're gonna just walk in here and assume you're gonna be a part of our dojo? You have to pass a test.
Kim: Okay. (knocks down the dummies) Ha ha ha ha ha!
Jerry: What do you think, guys?
Jack: She's in.
Eddie: Got my vote.
Milton: A+.
Kickin' It With You
(fades out)
(credits play)
(theme song plays instrumental)
(A variety of scenes play such as Jerry getting knocked over, Rudy pulling Jerry across the floor, everyone sitting down for Falafel Phil, everyone getting ready for the tournament, and the Wasabi Warriors kicking at the screen and holding their belts)
Voiceover: Poor soul. (barking)
(It's a Laugh Productions logo appears)
(Disney XD logo plays)
Voiceover: Yes!

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